Counseling for Pastors,
Who Are At The End Of Their Rope.
Helping Powerful Men Build Powerful Marriages.
Master the framework to lead your relationship with clarity, strength, and purpose.
Chuck Chapman, M.A., I work with men who have mastered their careers, but are still searching for deeper success in their marriage,
legacy, and inner life.
Real help for those who serve
Are You In Ministry?
Confidential. Transformative. Sacred.
People on the outside think you have it all together. After all—you’re a church leader, an elder, a shepherd. You pour yourself out every week. Sermons, counseling, leadership meetings, hospital visits. Everyone looks to you for answers, strength, and stability.
Yet on the inside? You’re dying a slow death.
The truth is, your marriage is in trouble, your sex life is dead, your spirituality is shaky—and if anyone knew what was really happening inside, they’d question whether you were ever called at all.
So what do you do? Pray more? Fast more? Read more Scripture? That’s great. But what about when God seems silent, distant, or (and don’t say this out loud) doesn’t even exist?
Or maybe you go down the path of looking at porn, flirting with the hot parishioner, or some other dark "thorn in the flesh" you pray no one ever finds out about.
I get it. Been there, done that, and I’ve got the faded Wild at Heart Bootcamp t-shirt buried in my drawer to prove it.
Here’s the deal: behind the pulpit, behind the smile, you feel the weight pressing in. Your marriage feels distant. Your wife feels more like a roommate than a partner. And if something doesn’t change soon, you will lose everything.
But what hurts the most? You give your best to everyone else—to the church, to God. But at the end of the day, when you need her most, she’s so burnt out that she can only offer you the the silence of her disappointment.
And deep down, you wonder: What happens if I can’t hold this together? What happens if I lose her… or myself… while trying to save everyone else?
You’re not alone and you don't need to do this on your own.
A proven strategy grounded in a biblical worldview that speaks to real struggles, not just theology.
Why This Work Matters
Pastors aren’t immune to loneliness, resentment, or a sexless marriage. In fact, ministry often intensifies those struggles. You’re expected to be available to everyone, all the time—and in the process, you lose yourself, your connection with your wife, and the joy you once had in your calling.
But here’s the truth
When a pastor’s marriage is strong, his ministry is stronger. When he learns to lead with presence, courage, and purpose at home, everything in his church flourishes.
But here's the thing you have to get. It's not about saving your marriage or your ministry—it’s about saving you. And when you thrive, your wife thrives. Your kids thrive. And your ministry becomes rooted in authenticity instead of exhaustion.
My Approach
This isn’t about your faith, and it's not another denominational training. This is confidential counseling for the man inside the pastor—the one nobody sees.
Confidential
*You don’t have to involve your board, your elders or anyone else. Our work stays between us.
Safe
I work with pastors one-on-one, outside the church structure, so you can be fully honest without fear of judgment or politics.
Practical
Clear frameworks and tools you can use immediately in your marriage and leadership.
Transformative
I don’t just treat your symptoms; I help you regain the confident, connected husband and leader you were meant to be.
*Some pastors invite their boards to contribute as continuing education or leadership development. Others prefer to invest privately. Either way, the covenant is between you, me, God and HIPAA.
My Invitation to You:
If something in you knows you can’t keep going the way you’ve been, it may be time to reach out.
No judgment. No roles to perform. No expectations to meet. Just a space for you to set down the weight you’ve been carrying and talk honestly about what’s happening in your marriage, your inner world, and your life.
Together, we’ll take a careful look at where you are right now, what feels stuck or painful, and what you’d like to be different. I’ll ask questions, I’ll listen deeply, and together we’ll begin to untangle the patterns that keep you from showing up with the presence and courage you long to embody—at home, in your relationships, and in yourself.
This isn’t about sermons or appearances. It’s about creating a safe, confidential place where you can be real. Often, the first breakthrough comes simply from speaking the truth out loud, maybe for the very first time.
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About Your Counselor
Chuck Chapman M.A.
I know what it’s like to feel stuck in a marriage that looks fine on the outside but feels empty on the inside. That’s why I’ve spent the last two decades helping men rebuild trust, reignite desire, and reclaim their role as confident leaders in their relationships.
Why Trust Me?
Licensed Therapist (LPC) with over 20,000 clinical hours working directly with men and couples
BS Human Development—Warner Pacific College
MA Counseling—George Fox UniversityGrew up in the Church as a P.K.
Creator of the Confident Husband Solution, a proven framework for restoring connection, respect, and intimacy
Published author of books on masculinity, marriage, and identity, including The Path: 16 Virtues of Integrity and No More Mr. Nice Guy: The 30-Day Recovery Journal
30+ years of personal experience in marriage—through the struggles, breakdowns, and healing
Trusted advisor to high-achieving men—including CEOs, entrepreneurs, pastors and professionals
Conference speaker and group leader
Host of The Confident Husband Podcast, helping married men become amazing husbands.
You don’t need another Christian book.
You need a way to show up differently—grounded, clear, and fully present. That’s what I help you build: the mindset and the skills to lead with confidence and create the kind of connection that lasts.
Stories From the Men I Work With
The pastors and ministry leaders I walk with carry heavy burdens—marriages on the brink, secrets they can’t tell anyone, burnout that feels unbearable. What follows are composite stories that reflect the real experiences of men I’ve worked with.
"I was preaching about love every Sunday while quietly living like a roommate with my wife. I felt like a fraud. I couldn’t tell my board, and I didn’t trust other pastors to keep my confidence. For the first time in years, I had a safe place to be honest. Today, my marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s alive again."— Senior Pastor, 20+ years in ministry
"I carried so much shame. My marriage was cold, I was numbing out with porn, and I kept telling myself if anyone ever found out, it would be over. Chuck didn’t flinch. He listened, he asked the hard questions, and he walked with me without judgment. I can honestly say I’m not hiding anymore, and my wife actually wants to be close to me again."— Associate Pastor 10 years in ministry
"I couldn’t see someone in my town—everyone knows who I am. If word ever got out, it could cost me my ministry. Working with Chuck gave me a confidential place to finally be honest. I didn’t have to pretend, and for the first time in years, I felt safe to talk about what was really going on."
— Pastor, 8 years in ministry
"I thought the answer was to pray harder, read more, preach better. But the truth was, I was exhausted—burned out at church and disconnected at home. What I needed wasn’t more theology but a way to be present in my own life and marriage. I’ve found my footing again as a husband, and I’ve rediscovered joy in ministry too." — Pastor, 15 years in ministry
Disclaimer: These stories are composites based on the real experiences of pastors and ministry leaders I’ve worked with. Names and identifying details have been withheld to protect confidentiality. Results may vary.