Faking it on the outside–dying on the inside
Can you relate?
People looking at you from the outside might think you have it all together. You have a lovely family, a great wife, and a good career. But on the inside, you're dying a slow death.
If anyone really knew what was going on, they would see that you are completely faking it. Inside, you're disappointed, let down and, let's face it... pissed off. To cope, you watch too much T.V., watch a little porn, and play video games. Maybe you drink too much; perhaps you smoke a little pot. You do whatever it takes to cover that longing for something more.
So you just keep faking it, pretending that everything is fine, until one day you implode.
I get it. I've been there, done that and I can show you the way.
Chuck Chapman
Licensed Professional Counselor
Life has a way of pulling us apart. On the outside, it might look fine—you’ve got the job, the family, the routine. But inside, something feels off. The connection isn’t there, the joy has faded, or the old patterns keep dragging you back. Maybe it shows up in your relationships, maybe in the silence of your own thoughts, maybe in the weight you carry that no one else sees. My work is about stepping into those places with honesty and courage. About naming what’s broken, understanding how your story and your nervous system keep playing on repeat, and finding a new way forward. This isn’t about quick fixes or pretending everything is okay. It’s about becoming whole, alive, and fully present in your own life again.
Here are some of the things I help people with.
Men's Issues
Men are told to man up. To keep it together. To provide. To swallow their pain and pretend it doesn’t exist. But the truth is, a lot of men are lonely, angry, ashamed, or stuck—trying to figure out how to be strong without losing their soul. I help men step into something deeper. We talk about presence, about purpose, about what it means to lead without control and love without fear. Because the world doesn’t need more men who are silent and checked out—it needs men who are awake, grounded, and alive.
Women's Issues
Women are taught to carry it all. To be everything for everyone. To hold the family together, excel at work, and look put together doing it. And underneath, they’re exhausted. Sometimes they don’t even know who they are anymore—just who they’re supposed to be. I help women put the pieces down. To listen to their bodies. To name the stories that kept them silent. To rediscover their voice, their boundaries, their own deep knowing. Because you weren’t made to disappear. You were made to live fully, in the center of your own life.
Relationship Issues
We’re all shaped by the stories we tell ourselves about love. Maybe you keep repeating the same arguments, or maybe you’ve gone silent altogether. Sometimes it feels like you’re living next to each other instead of with each other. My work is about helping you see those patterns for what they are—old scripts that no longer serve you. Together, we uncover what’s underneath, the places your nervous system keeps holding on, and we start writing a new story. One where you show up with presence, courage, and the kind of connection you’ve always wanted.
Sexuality
Sex is never just sex. It’s history, it’s body, it’s belief, it’s the quiet whispers you’ve carried since childhood about what’s good and what’s bad, what’s allowed and what’s forbidden. For many, sex feels complicated—desire doesn’t match, shame takes over, or you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the process. I create a space to explore all of that. To get curious about how your body and brain work, to let go of the shame, and to rediscover your own capacity for desire and intimacy. Because your sexuality isn’t broken—it’s waiting to be reclaimed.
Codependency
You know that feeling—when you’re constantly scanning the room, making sure everyone else is okay, all while quietly abandoning yourself? That’s codependency. It looks like peacekeeping, but really it’s slow suffocation. I help you trace those roots—why your nervous system decided that pleasing others was safer than standing tall in your own truth. And then we start the work of coming back. Boundaries. Self-respect. The kind of love that doesn’t erase you, but actually allows you to breathe again.
Anxiety
Anxiety isn’t just in your head—it’s in your body. It’s the racing thoughts, the tight chest, the sleepless nights, the sense that something is always just about to go wrong. Your nervous system is stuck in overdrive, and you feel powerless to stop it. What if anxiety wasn’t the enemy, but a signal—your body’s way of telling you something needs to shift? That’s the work I do. We slow down, we listen, we learn how to soothe the system and rewrite the story. So you can move from frantic survival to grounded presence.
Spirituality
Faith can be beautiful, but it can also wound. Maybe you were told you were never enough. Maybe love always felt conditional. Maybe the God you were handed was small, angry, and hard to please. Spiritual abuse leaves scars that go deep. I walk with people who are untangling those lies, who are deconstructing, questioning, aching for something truer. Together, we explore what still holds weight, what needs to be released, and what sacred might mean for you now. This isn’t about rules—it’s about freedom. About reclaiming a spirituality that gives life instead of stealing it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are you currently accepting new clients?
Yes, I am currently accepting new clients for online therapy sessions. Availability may be limited, so I encourage you to reach out to discuss openings and see if we’re a good fit.
What are your office hours?
My practice hours are Monday through Friday, 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM. I do not offer evening or weekend appointments.
Which insurance provider do you accept?
I am contracted with Moda, Regency Blue Cross, and Pacific Source
What if my insurance isn’t listed?
If your insurance isn’t listed, I can provide a superbill that you can submit to your insurance company for possible out-of-network reimbursement. Please note that it is your responsibility to check with your insurance provider about coverage and eligibility.
Do you see couples?
My primary focus is working with men individually, but in certain cases I may meet with couples for the purpose of supporting a client’s growth and process. If you’re looking specifically for ongoing couples therapy, I’ll usually recommend you connect with a dedicated couples therapist while I continue to support you individually.Results vary depending on factors such as commitment level, existing habits, and the complexity of your goals. Many clients start noticing positive changes within a few weeks to a month of consistent coaching.
Do you offer in-person sessions?
I see clients exclusively online. This gives me the flexibility to work with men from all over the state, while offering you the convenience and privacy of meeting from your own space.
What are your qualifications as a therapist?
I hold a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and a Bachelor’s degree in Human Development. Over the past 15 years, I’ve accumulated more than 20,000 clinical hours working with men on issues such as relationships, anxiety, addiction, and identity. In addition to my clinical practice, I’ve developed specialized programs focused on men’s growth, drawing from both psychological training and real-life experience, including 30 years of marriage.
What is your therapeutic approach?
I use a model I’ve developed called Masculine Embodied Neuropsychology (M.E.N.). This approach recognizes that the brain is a “drug-seeking machine,” always looking for the neurochemical rewards that come when our core needs are met. Instead of simply managing symptoms, we look at how thoughts, behaviors, and relationships shape the nervous system and the neuropeptides that drive our emotional states. Masculine Embodied Neuropsychology combines neuroscience, psychology, and embodiment practices to help men break free from old patterns, regulate their emotions, and create meaningful connection.
About Your Therapist
Chuck Chapman M.A.
"There’s a kind of emptiness you can’t explain. From the outside, everything looks fine—the job, the marriage, the rhythm of daily life. But inside, it feels flat, disconnected, like you’re going through the motions. I’ve spent the last twenty years stepping into those places with people, helping them name what’s missing, uncover the old stories that keep playing on repeat, and awaken to something more. More trust. More connection. More desire. More life. Because you weren’t made just to survive—you were made to come alive."
Why Trust Me?
Licensed Therapist (LPC) with over 20,000 clinical hours working directly with men and couples
BS Human Development—Warner Pacific College
MA Counseling—George Fox UniveristyCreator of the Confident Husband Solution, a proven framework for restoring connection, respect, and intimacy
Published author of books on masculinity, marriage, and identity, including The Path: 16 Virtues of Integrity and No More Mr. Nice Guy: The 30-Day Recovery Journal
30+ years of personal experience in marriage—through the struggles, breakdowns, and healing
Trusted advisor to high-achieving men—including CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals
Conference speaker and group leader
Host of The Confident Husband Podcast, helping married men become amazing husbands.
You don’t need another self-help gimmick.
You need a way to show up differently—grounded, clear, and fully present. That’s what I help you build: the mindset and the skills to lead with confidence and create the kind of connection that lasts.
Contact Chuck
If you have questions, want to know more about how I work, or simply need to reach out, please use the form below. I’ll respond as soon as I can, and we can take the next step together.
Listen to My Weekly Podcast
THE CONFIDENT HUSBAND
